Monthly Archives: April 2015


5 Reasons to Never Do Yoga

Confessions of a Showgirl

Maren Wade's Confessions of a Showgirl: 5 Reasons to Never Do Yoga

The stress of having to write all these confessions finally caught up with me. I needed a way to decompress. My showgirl guru recommended I try yoga. I had never done it before. The showgirl life is fast paced. We are used to intense spurts of frenetic performance, followed by mood swings.

I figured it was time to try something new, but when I went to my first class I discovered right away why you should never do yoga.

1. Breathing is overrated. We start with all of this heavy breathing. I haven’t focused this hard on my breathing since the last time I was faking it in my bedroom. Over and over again, the teacher instructs us to breathe in and out. Now I’m getting dizzy. I can’t see straight. I think I’m having a panic attack. Somebody help! I can’t breathe. I need air.

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